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God endorses Republican Senate candidate
Opinion Column
By Sean Illing
It appears the creator of the universe has weighed in on the hotly contested Senate race in Minnesota, lobbying for – you guessed it – the Republican candidate, Norm Coleman. Last week, on Mike Gallagher’s nationally syndicated radio show, the soon-to-be-unemployed Senator declared triumphantly that he knows “God wants me to serve,” which helps explain his cocksuredness about winning the race despite having fewer votes than his opponent, Al Franken.
Regrettably, as Mr. Gallagher – being the credulous and contemptible pundit that he is – failed to ask his guest what form this celestial communication took, we do not yet know how the Ground of All Being made Sen. Coleman aware of her wishes.
In any case, it seems to me a rather suspicious thing that every time God’s will is revealed to a politician, it tends almost always to be a Republican. It is not enough, apparently, for our conservative friends that God should be directly intervening in the political affairs of human beings; she must also be a certified member of the GOP.
Besides, it is extremely insulting – and absurd – to suggest that God prefers one candidate over another – insulting to religious people, insulting to the audience, and insulting to the intelligence of the American electorate.
By the by, Coleman is not the only Minnesota Republican to make such a grandiose claim, as in 2006 Congressional candidate Michelle Bachmann announced to an apparently rapturous audience of illiterates that “Twenty-two months ago, God called me to run for the United States Congress.” Solipsistic drivel like this has become entirely too common in our public discourse, and there ought not to be any place for it in American politics.
Whether you bow the knee and pray to Yahweh or the Flying Spaghetti Monster, appealing to either for votes is not an effective electoral strategy; it is stupid; it is divisive; and it distracts from the issues.
And so every time a politician asserts that the Maker of the cosmos has personally endorsed his candidacy, he has only exercised his inalienable right to be thought an idiot and, with a bit of luck, prematurely ended his campaign.
Let us hope, then, that Mr. Coleman will enjoy his new life as a former Senator and spend some much-needed time with the family.
Originally Published: Issue 755 - February 18, 2009
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