Geaux to hell, fake rivalry

[7 Comment(s)]

By Jason Dupuy

Let me start off by saying that I really don't want the rivalry to go to hell. I am appreciative of the history. I'm thankful that LSU has a recognized rivals because rivalries are fun and add excitement to college football. However, I'm a little annoyed that the two schools have suddenly decided to make such a big deal about it.

LSU sent out an e-mail to its student body saying that the rivalry will soon "become official" and that these two teams that have battled since 1894 will now "have additional incentive to leave their best stuff on the field."

Yeah, okay. I find it hard to believe that LSU's really going to get more fired up to play Ole Miss because there's a traveling trophy going back and forth between the two universities. I mean, it really looks like LSU's playing with more intensity against Arkansas since they put that darned boot trophy up for grabs. They might have even broken out the first string every once in a while in the Tulane game to try to keep the Tiger Rag at home in Baton Rouge.

Furthermore, Ole Miss doesn't care a whole lot about LSU anymore. I guess "a whole lot" is relative. They don't care about beating LSU nearly as much as they care about the Egg Bowl. Now that Mississippi State's back on the football map, Sylvester Croom's bunch should give Ole Miss a run for that strange dairy keepsake year in and year out.

Now that former Ole Miss head coach Ed Orgeron, who used to proclaim that players attended his university just for the chance at knocking off LSU, has been fired, the Rebels will care even less about beating a team for "rivalry's sake." If they set their sights on LSU, it will be just because the Tigers are another SEC foe, and one that has established itself as a perennial national championship contender. This silly concocted trophy will have nothing to do with it.

Don't get me wrong. The rivalry's there. It's just dormant. LSU hasn't lost to Ole Miss since 2001. The rivalry's gone the way of the Major League Baseball All-Star Game. When one team wins it every year, the history doesn't matter as much, and the rivalry loses some of its luster. At least the MLB added something worth its salt when trying to spice up the rivalry again: the winner gets home field advantage in the World Series. Now that's an idea I could back just because I want more games at Tiger Stadium, but it would ultimately be detrimental to the rivalry because Ole Miss fans wouldn't get to see the mystic matchup on their home turf (unless things change dramatically) nearly as often as Tiger fans would.

LSU and Ole Miss have played some thrillers. Billy Cannon's thrilling return in 1959, the hard-fought tie in 1960 followed by Ole Miss' victory over the same squad later that year in the Sugar Bowl, the frequent heartbreakers at the hands of Archie Manning, and LSU's come-from-behind victory that propelled them to the 2003 BCS Championship are all episodes that spring to mind. Even during LSU's recent run of victories over Ole Miss, there have been some nailbiters –overtimes, three-point games, one-point games. If I were the LSU and Ole Miss brass (instead of some two-bit local sportswriter), I would simply wait until one of these games plays out, come up with a name based on that game, and move on. I think that would generate more buzz than coming up with an idea in the off-season of all times following a 41-24 drubbing a few months ago. At the very least, move the game back to Halloween night and make the trophy something lighthearted and related to the spooky holiday.

If I were forced to pick a name now, I'd go with the Toilet Bowl. I think a mini toilet trophy going back and forth (or really, just staying on Coach Miles's bookcase) would be hilarious and fitting. Humor's all about timing, and that's where the rivalry's gone lately (down the toilet bowl, to make myself clear to any of our slower Ole Miss fans who might be reading this issue online if they've traveled to a locale with Internet access).

On second thought, they should just wait for Mike to complete digesting his latest meal, hairspray that sucker up, and present it on a tremendous TAF-donated gold platter to the winner of the game each year. That would stink just about as much as this ill-timed official rivalry idea.

Originally Published: Issue 601 - March 26, 2008

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