Tech News and Advice Q&A

'I'm on a Boat' edition

[Comment Below]

By Philip DiStefano

Q: What's with all of the rage about mobile/portable gadgets?

A: I don't know about anyone else, but when I was in junior high/middle school, I practically dreamed about being able to surf the Internet from the back seat of the car on long trips or while sitting on the wharf at my parents' camp. Now we've got plenty of affordable devices that can do just that, and these devices are quite widespread. The popularity of netbooks is skyrocketing, and people practically feel privileged to stand in line to buy new versions of the iPhone when they come out.

So what's the cause for the ever-increasing gadget lust? If I had to muster a guess or two, I'd say it stems from a few things. First, the world has become gradually more and more connected, and netbooks and smartphones allow people to stay connected on the go. This is a major reason I love my portable gadgets, and I suspect many people share my rationale.

Another reason is probably that the technology has improved not only enough to make the devices much more useful than they previously have been, but also enough to make them more affordable. With most smartphones and a data plan, you've got a phone, a way to browse the web, a camera, and a way to do practically any other general task that a fully functional computer can do - and all in a package that's a fraction of the size.

Q: Why don't we have super-awesome artificial intelligence yet? Is it because we're afraid of Skynet?

A: I'm definitely no expert in this field, and all Terminator references aside, I think it's pretty safe to say that AI is a long way off. Most readers of Tech News and Advice will probably be familiar with either the AI in the aforementioned Terminator movies, or perhaps even Cortana - the female AI that guides you through the Halo video game series.

The reason AI like this isn't really feasible with current technology is because computers can't reason for themselves. Every decision a computer makes results in on or off, yes or no answers - there's no maybe involved. All decisions are determined by code that pretty much lays out the decision-making path for the program. The program can't decide to deviate from the code, and whenever a program tries to do something that it doesn't have instructions for, it tends to result in an error.

I'd also like to point out that as a species, we aren't terribly efficient. We tend to produce things that don't quite end up being the sum of all the parts. Take the power supplies that are in computers, for example. They typically waste 20-30 percent of the power they draw in. Running with this idea, I'd have to say that the day a human being produces a machine that's as humanlike as a human, not only would it be a miracle, but it would probably be the beginning of the end for us. Any smart computer program would definitely destroy us in an instant.

Q: How do singers that can't sing make albums that come out sounding fantastic? It's a computer program, right?

A: Indeed, it's available as either a program or a pretty expensive piece of hardware. The most popular form of computerized pitch correcting is a program called Auto-Tune, which Jay-Z may or may not have recently made a bit more famous with his song "D.O.A.," which is short for "Death of Auto-Tune." If you're not sure what an Auto-Tuned singer sounds like, check out Kanye West's latest album, or listen to anything with T-Pain - yes, even "I'm on a Boat."

So how does Auto-Tune work? A person sets the key that the song is supposed to be in, for example, F major, and then Auto-Tune goes through the vocalization and/or instrumentals and tries to correct anything that appears to be off-pitch. When you listen to a pitch-corrected song, the robotic sound you're hearing is the program filling in the blanks, more or less.

The reason T-Pain always sounds like a robot is because he purposely sings off pitch so that his voice can be distorted. It's a very interesting use of technology in the music industry; however, Auto-Tune is hated by many, both fans and artists alike.

Originally Published: Issue 806 - July 1, 2009

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