Letter from a Student

[7 Comment(s)]

Editor’s Note:

This is a response by a student to Dane Mannina’s opinion piece, “Chatting with Johnny Every-kid, Freshman-At-Large,” which has been controversial among (surprise) freshmen. The author’s name has been omitted, but all material is as quoted in the original.

Dear Mr. Mannina,

I am currently a freshman and as I was reading your article I felt the need to reply and inquire as to why you feel the need to categorize every freshman with your “Johnny Every-kid”. First off, I know you know everything and that I’m just a stupid little freshman asking insignificant questions, but if you could please please please Mr. Mannina give me the time of day, well it would just make my semester! Hell, my whole year!

Ok, fist question, Did you skip your freshman year at LSU? Because from what I have read, it seems like your looking down on us little lost freshman, that you’ve never done any of those things listed in your article. Man, if only we were all as lucky as you! Also, thanks for pointing out that freshman are the only ones who try to fit all of they’re storage bins and what not in their cars! I guess the upper Classmens rent U-hals, good idea, I’ll use that for next year.

Also, you are so right, that “sap” that tested out of 15 credits, which is the equivalent of a semester, man, I would hate to be that kid! What a dumb ass, now hes going to be ahead of all his fellow classmates and most likely achieve his goal. Oh and I loved how you pointed out that freshmen are always wearing those “Geaux Tigers” t-shirts. Seriously, whats the point of supporting the school that you go to? I hope we grow out of that stage by the time we’re sophomores! Oh and I laughed oh so hard when you made fun of the freshman for graduating top of his class! So what, just because he was more focused on grades and his future and it showed through his academic excellence, what a loser. If only we could all finish dead last like all the future CEOs of America. Just when I thought the article couldn’t possibly get any wittier, it did! You made fun of his ambition, which you obviously lacked due to the fact that you indicated that you yourself would never attempt something so bold, something so stupid! Oh and I also found it funny that the same kid that was wearing a “Geaux Tigers” t-shirt was able to pop a non-existent collar! Someone that gifted, I hope he is staying in the honors dorms. I guess its only the youngsters (freshmen) who pop they’re collars. Those crazy kids! Now I have to admit that even though the popping of the collar went out..oh say..years ago, I was glad to know that you, Almighty Dane, were able to pin point the exact group of kids who do such a crime. I guess this kid’s popping of his “collar” is what led his girlfriend, whom he has managed to grow with and mature with since the 9th grade, which is an accomplishment, to a kegger. When he told you that he had a girlfriend whom he had been with through the most crucial years of adolescence, I wanted to slap him as well. I mean really, how dare he find someone who shares the same goals and morals as him and then proceed to grow closer to her. Who does this smuck think he is? Dane Mannina? Oh no sir, you to good for that long relationship crap. Oh and again congrats on making fun of his preparation for the fist day. Reading your textbooks! Who would do such a thing? Damn freshman. But I did miss the part where he implied that he would be running the school..like when you asked him where Tureaud Hall was. I guess you were just born knowing every inch of the LSU campus. Lucky son of a gun! I had to actually look at a map once or twice to figure out where a few of my classes were; Oh but please don’t spread that around! I would hate people to think that I didn’t know everything like you seem to. Also, I’m sorry you had to find out that all the incoming freshmen decided at the orientations that we chose to pay a crap load for books. You see, we all kind of voted, well of course the administrator had to talk slow, I mean, we are just freshmen, but it was one of those things where we all just agreed that we should pay as much money for books we will only need for a semester. Well after we all voted, we sent a letter to whom ever it concerned, to make that dream happen. It was a beautiful process,wish you could have been there.

And sadly, your article started to come to an end! You pointed out that this loser need some life lessons asap! I’m glad you were willing to help him along and treat him like a fellow human being, that probably opened the door to those life lessons. On a closing note, I was somewhat confused on the whole “nervous breakdown”, “intro to binge drinking” and that STD comment. Now, you forget Dane, that not everyone is as perfect as you so you must be patient. I, myself, do not drink and I have a large group of friends who do not drink. But I guess it is only freshmen who go out and drink and get completely plastered. I guess you grow out of that stage. When did you stop drinking and getting drunk? What am I saying, you never drank or got drunk! Because if you did, well that would be down right hypocritical, and well the article if proof enough, you wouldn’t say anything of that nature, I’m sure of it. And I suppose freshmen are the only irresponsible teens having unprotected sex. God, will we ever keep it in our pants?! Good thing there are people like you who are willing to throw everyone into a general category and show us, and only us, the error of our ways.

Well I guess the point of this fan email was to just applaud you on your welcoming words and thank you for proving that the students of LSU do ban together and pass along their knowledge to the future generations. Personally, you have made me feel extremely welcome and if I were to see you walking around campus, well I would just have to drop down and worship the ground you walk on! You are my hero, I, a pessimistic freshman, would have thought it impossible to piss off about 4000 students all at once, but you Dane Mannina have done just that. Thank you for teaching us the life lesson: Assholes are everywhere, and will ultimately go nowhere.

I thought I knew Dane Mannina, but I apparently had no idea.

Sincerely,

[Name Omitted], an eager freshman thanking you for you welcoming, hypocritical, arrogant words.

Hope to see you around campus (I’ll be the one with the map in the quad crying for my mommy)

Originally Published: Issue 704 - September 10, 2008

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