I want my friend back!

[Comment Below]

By Stephen Phillips

Dear Go-To Guy

This question concerns my friend who we will call Matteo. Matteo is one of the coolest guys I have ever met in my life and has always been there for me. Every time I need anything, he is always there.

Recently everyone who lives in my apartment hooked up with all the girls from a downstairs apartment. Well, everyone that is except for Matteo. I have never seen him so sad because he just broke up with a girlfriend, and he has not hooked up with another girl yet. He never talks to any of us anymore. He is always in the room with his door locked and he locks the door when he leaves.

He leaves the apartment all the time without saying goodbye to anyone and enters it without saying hello. I just don’t know what to do anymore to make things less awkward. He is very jealous of my other two roommates and me because we hook up with different girls all the time. I just want the old Matteo back!

-Ward

Ward,

I don’t get what the issue is. He just got out of a relationship, dude. His friends are getting laid and he isn’t. Of course he’s jealous – and sad and bitter. And what? You expect him to smile just to make yourself feel better?

I’m sure “Matteo” is a big boy, and he just needs some time to sulk about a failed relationship. If he wants to join in on the “festivities,” then he would come out of his shell (and his bedroom) and put himself out there with the rest of his roommates. Until he does, it’s assumed he doesn’t want to.

It’s usually a friend’s job to get his or her pal back into the dating scene after a break-up, but how do you know he’s ready, and who’s to say he even wants to partake in meaningless hookups? Keep putting the invitation on the table every time you and the guys go out. Continue to be a friend, just like he’s been a friend to you, and be considerate of his recent misfortune. Unless Matteo has deeper problems that go beyond simple jealousy and mild depression, he’ll come around and order will be restored. Give him time to reboot.

Originally Published: Issue 456 - October 18, 2006

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