Dirty Laundry

Britney Spears is in Maxim

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By Jenna Gibbs

Instead of waiting until the end of the article to explain the headline, I’ll go ahead and do it now so you don’t have to picture Britney Spears naked. Yes, Britney Spears is in Maxim, but only as part of a feature. What is this feature? The Five Unsexiest Women Alive.

Yes, Britney managed to make the list with such hotties as Madonna, Sandra Oh, Amy Whinehouse and Sarah Jessica Parker. Unfortunately, Britney was only number five, while Sarah Jessica Parker was number one.

But, perhaps the best thing about Britney making this list is that she knows she made the list. Britney had planned to make a surprise visit to a Maxim-hosted party even though she wasn’t invited.

Britney’s friends decided to tell her that she made the list, preventing Britney from making a complete fool of herself for once. Britney cried and was supposedly in shock. I wonder what it’s like living in denial.

Moving on. Can you guess which star recently out of rehab is already out hitting all the L.A. hotspots? Lindsay Lohan, of course. Lindsay recently got out of her rehab facility in Utah, and she’s already catching up on all the partying she’s missed. Oh well. Maybe the fourth time in rehab’s the charm.

In other celebrity news Duane Chapman, star of “Dog the Bounty Hunter” may be getting sued. A while ago, Dog was caught using the N-word several times when referring to his son’s new girlfriend and even threatened to fire him if he wouldn’t break up with her.
So, as celebrities who make racist remarks do, Dog has been publicly apologizing. He has said that he is not racist and did not tell his son not to date the girl because she is black but rather, because she’s a bad person.

And now, before A&E can quit pulling their most popular show off the air, Dog will probably have to apologize again. Monique Shinnery, the girlfriend, is now wanting to sue Dog for slander.

Shinnery says that Dog criticized her character and blamed her for things she hasn’t done. Not to mention, he has never even met her. Needless to say, she was in very much pain. I mean, how can you go on with life knowing that a wannabe Hawaiian biker with a mullet doesn’t approve of you?

E-mail the author at Jenna@tigerweekly.com

Originally Published: Issue 587 - November 14, 2007

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